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Synopsis

You hold in your hands the most complete and official guide to imaginary ailments ever assembled--each disease carefully documented by the most stellar collection of speculative fiction writers ever to play doctor. Detailed within for your reading and diagnostic pleasure are the frightening, ridiculous, and downright absurdly hilarious symptoms, histories, and possible cures to all the ills human flesh isn't heir to, including Ballistic Organ Disease, Delusions of Universal Grandeur, and Reverse Pinocchio Syndrome.

Lavishly illustrated with cunning examples of everything that can't go wrong with you, the Lambshead Guide provides a healthy dose of good humor and relief for hypochondriacs, pessimists, and lovers of imaginative fiction everywhere. Even if you don't have Pentzler's Lubriciousness or Tian Shan-Gobi Assimilation, the cure for whatever seriousness may ail you is in this remarkable collection.

Excerpt

Table of Contents:

• The Life of Dr. Thackery T. Lambshead (1900-) - shortfiction by Michael Cisco
• An Enthusiastic Foreword by the Editors - (2003) - shortfiction by Jeff VanderMeer and Mark Roberts
• A Reluctant Introduction by Dr. Lambshead - (2003) - shortfiction by Dr. Thackery T. Lambshead
• Alphabetes - (2003) - shortfiction by Shelley Jackson
• Ballistic Organ Syndrome - (2003) - shortfiction by Michael Barry
• Bloodflower's Melancholia - (2003) - shortfiction by Tamar Yellin
• Bone Leprosy - (2003) - shortfiction by Stepan Chapman
• Buboparazygosia - (2003) - shortfiction by Michael Cobley
• Bufonidic Cephalitis - (2003) - shortfiction by Jay Caselberg
• Buscard's Murrain - (2003) - shortfiction by China Miéville
• Catamenia Hysterica - (2003) - shortfiction by L. Timmel Duchamp
• Ceòlmhar Bus - (2003) - shortfiction by Neil Williamson
• Chronic Zygotic Dermis Disorder - (2003) - shortfiction by Eliot Fintushel
• Chrono-Unific Deficiency Syndrome - (2003) - shortfiction by Lance Olsen
• Clear Rice Sickness - (2003) - shortfiction by Michael Cisco
• Denegare Spasticus - (2003) - shortfiction by Steve Rasnic Tem
• Delusions of Universal Grandeur - (2003) - shortfiction by Rachel Pollack
• Di Forza Virus Syndrome - (2003) - shortfiction by L. Timmel Duchamp
• Diseasemaker's Croup - (2003) - shortstory by Neil Gaiman
• Download Syndrome - (2003) - shortfiction by Steve Aylett
• Ebercitas - (2003) - shortfiction by Rhys Hughes
• Emordny's Syndrome - (2003) - shortfiction by Andrew J. Wilson
• Empathetic Fallacy Syndrome - (2003) - shortfiction by Mike O'Driscoll
• Espectare Necrosis - (2003) - shortfiction by Steve Rasnic Tem
• Extreme Exostosis - (2003) - shortfiction by Jeffrey Thomas
• Female Hyper-Orgasmic Epilepsy - (2003) - shortfiction by Richard Calder
• Ferrobacterial Accretion Syndrome - (2003) - shortfiction by Brian Stableford
• Figurative Synethesia - (2003) - shortfiction by Jeffrey Ford
• Stiff 1 - (2003) - interior artwork by Dawn Andrews
• Flora Metamorphosis Syndrome - (2003) - shortfiction by Brendan Connell
• Fruiting Body Syndrome - (2003) - shortfiction by Tim Lebbon
• Fungal Disenchantment - (2003) - shortfiction by Alan M. Clark
• Fungal Disenchantment - (2003) - interior artwork by Alan M. Clark
• Fuseli's Disease - (2003) - shortfiction by Alan Moore
• Hsing's Spontaneous Self-Flaying Sarcoma - (2003) - shortfiction by Liz Williams
• Internal Tattooing Disease - (2003) - shortfiction by Jeffrey Thomas
• Inverted Drowning Syndrome - (2003) - shortfiction by Iain Rowan
• Stiff 2 - (2003) - interior artwork by Dawn Andrews
• Jumping Monkworm - (2003) - shortfiction by Sara Gwenllian Jones
• Ledru's Disease - (2003) - shortfiction by Michael Cisco
• Logopetria - (2003) - shortfiction by Jeff Topham
• Logrolling Ephesus - (2003) - shortfiction by David Langford
• Menard's Disease - (2001) - shortfiction by Michael Bishop
• Mongolian Death Worm Infestation - (2003) - shortfiction by Jay Lake
• Monochromitis - (2003) - shortfiction by Jack Slay, Jr.
• Motile Snarcoma - (2003) - shortfiction by Stepan Chapman
• Noumenal Fluke - (2003) - shortfiction by Michael Cisco
• Ouroborean Lordosis - (2003) - shortfiction by Jeffrey Ford
• Pathological Instrumentation Disorder - (2003) - shortfiction by Cory Doctorow
• Pentzler's Lubriciousness - (2003) - shortfiction by Iain Rowan
• Poetic Lassitude - (2003) - shortfiction by Martin Newell
• Post-Traumatic Placebosis - (2003) - shortfiction by Harvey Jacobs
• Post Carriers' Brain Fluke Syndrome - (2003) - shortfiction by Stepan Chapman
• Printer's Evil - (2003) - shortfiction by John Coulthart
• Rashid's Syndrome - (2003) - shortfiction by Michael Barry
• Razornail Bone Rot - (2003) - shortfiction by Frederick John Kleffel
• Reverse Pinocchio Syndrome - (2003) - shortfiction by Steve Redwood
• Third Eye Infection - (2003) - shortfiction by Frederick John Kleffel
• Tian Shan-Gobi Assimilation - (2003) - shortfiction by Jeff VanderMeer
• Turbot's Syndrome - (2003) - shortfiction by Paul Di Filippo
• Twentieth Century Chronoshock - (2003) - shortstory by Rhys Hughes
• Vestigal Elongation of the Caudal Vertebrae - (2003) - shortfiction by L. Timmel Duchamp
• Wife Blindness - (2003) - shortfiction by R. M. Berry
• Worsley's Supplement - (2003) - shortfiction by Brian Evenson
• The Wuhan Flu - (2003) - shortfiction by Eric Schaller
• Zschokke's Chancres - (2003) - shortfiction by Michael Cisco
• Stiff 3 - (2003) - interior artwork by Dawn Andrews
• Reminiscences - shortfiction by Michael Cisco
• Reminiscences - shortfiction by Jeffrey Thomas
• Reminiscences - shortfiction by Eric Schaller
• Reminiscences - shortfiction by Rachel Pollack
• Reminiscences - shortfiction by K. J. Bishop
• Reminiscences - shortfiction by Stepan Chapman
• Reminiscences - shortfiction by Richard Calder
• Reminiscences - shortfiction by Robert Freeman Wexler
• A Chronology of the Guide's Publishers - (2003) - shortfiction by uncredited
• Gastric Pre-Linguistic Syndrome - (2003) - shortfiction by Gary Couzens
• Burmese Dirigible Disease - (2003) - shortfiction by Stepan Chapman
• Tuning's Spasm - (2003) - shortfiction by Gahan Wilson
• Dr. Rikki Ducornet's Various Head Diseases - (2003) - interior artwork by Rikki Ducornet
• Maccreech's Dementia - (2003) - shortfiction by Kage Baker
• El Mal De Ciudades Fantasmales - (2003) - shortfiction by Gabriel Mesa
• The Malady of Ghostly Cities - (2003) - shortfiction by Nathan Ballingrud
• Samoan Giant Rat Bite Fever - (2003) - shortfiction by Michael Moorcock
• The Putti - (1996) - shortfiction by Shelley Jackson
• The Obscure Medical History of the Twentieth Century - (2003) - shortfiction by Stepan Chapman
• The Obscure Medical History of the Twentieth Century - interior artwork by Michael Cisco
• Biographical Data - (2003) - shortfiction by uncredited
• Acknowledgments - essay by Jeff VanderMeer and Mark Roberts

Copyright © 2003 by Jeff VanderMeer

Copyright © 2003 by Mark Roberts

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